What your Garri soaking style says about you

Garri is a staple meal item in Nigeria and has been saving lives since forever, it can be eaten as a swallow (Eba), used as garnish (It's real, people do it) or soaked. The people who call it 'garium sulphate' have PhD in this 'soaking' of a thing, listen to them, they know what they are talking about. So let's see what your Garri soaking style says about you (I'm aware there are various ways people soak but we'll be looking at the most popular ones).

photo credit: Chichi Uguru

GARRI

Just garri, no swag, just you eating it in it's raw form. When someone asks, you'll say you don't like sugar, yeah, you most certainly had that Saturday morning conversation with a man whose name starts with 'P'. He sat you down, face to face.

Yeah I don't think I have anything to say about the people in this category. I know what you are.

GARRI + SUGAR

A simple, combo nothing can go wrong with this, simple, clean, gets the job done. If this is your go-to, it could mean you like keeping things simple, you're the type that only orders Jollof Rice when you go out to eat. You're not the adventurous type, you like doing things you are already familiar with.

You may also have a more limited range of interests or hobbies, preferring to stick to what they know and enjoy. In terms of their fashion sense, you might opt for basic and practical clothing over trendy or attention-grabbing pieces like them Ebuka kind clothes. Wouldn’t hurt to try new things from time to time tho, spice things up a little.

GARRI + SUGAR + GROUNDNUT

The balanced diet, garri in its full form, everything you need in a bowl. It's not too much, it certainly isn't too little either. It's just right.

You are a real g, and you like to do things in style. You're not flashy tho, simple but stylish, a minimalist, you have a good understating and approach to fashion, while still maintaining a sense of elegance and sophistication. You prioritize comfort and functionality over trends or flashy details. Overall, you exude a sense of confidence and poise.

GARRI + SUGAR + MILK

Garri-Sugar-Milk (GSM), once a meal has an acronym you know it's a banger on these streets (or is it?). This is probably the most popular and most disliked combo when it comes to soaking garri. It's an okay combo to be honest, it's just usually overhyped and doesn't sometimes live up to the shout.

These guys and crypto people have one thing in common, they always tell people what they are into 'guy you have to try this' no, thank you I don't want to. These guys have a very confident and assertive personality, and may come across as arrogant or conceited, they may prioritize trendy or attention-grabbing clothing over practicality or comfort, they may wear designer labels or flashy accessories in an attempt to stand out and attract attention.

GARRI + SUGAR + MILK + GROUNDNUT

GSM Pro? This is the final boss of the garri soakers. This combo has something for everyone, and depending on your ratios you can be looking at creating something truly beautiful - the crunchy texture and nutty flavour from the groundnut paired with the creamy texture of the milk, this combo has everything you could ask for in a 'cereal' (yes, at this point it's a cereal).

These people have a warm and friendly personality, and they are often able to connect with people on a genuine level, they are approachable, making others feel comfortable in their presence. They have a style that is approachable and relatable, without being overly flashy or attention-seeking. Just as this style has something for everyone, they are often the glue that bring people together, and are able to create a sense of community and inclusiveness wherever they go.

ADD-ONS

Some combinations couldn’t make the list but they are honourable mentions:

• Ice cubes : Ice cubes automatically elevates any soaking style, if you add this, you always look for the right finishing touches to make the ordinary become extraordinary.

• Any type of fancy nut (kuli kuli, cashew nut, almond nuts) : These guys said groundnut isn't enough, I have to do more. I'm here to tell you that there is no need, my brother in Christ you are doing too much.

• Salt : Honestly don't see a difference between this and plain garri, the salt is added so it won't be like there's nothing there. You and plain garri are on the same boat.

• Chicken, Turkey, Suya, Dried Fish : The Emperor, The Conquerer, The Lion, The Champion! Not much to say, you know what you are.
  

CONCLUSION

This article is meant to be humorous and taken lightly. Please do not take it too seriously or change your soaking style based on this content. Its purpose is to provide some laughs and entertainment, so enjoy it for what it is, except the salt adding people, you should take it seriously and change your ways.